I'm at a loss for words.
I literally just lost my voice.
Yay...
Who Am I?
- Amy Sea
- Macomb, Illinois, United States
- I'm a seventeen year old girl with some issues and a passion for writing and weird things. Insomnia and depression, a bit of an attitude as well. Ignorance is NOT bliss, I can stand unintelligence to a degree but don't push it, seriously. I enjoy body modifications, I have several. The darkness is my friend. I'm a Junior in high school, I'm ready to begin life. Yeah...That'll be all for now.
3.19.2011
2.01.2011
Bitter Nature. [Poem of Mine]
The skeletons, skeleton trees.
We’re empty, empty--
Starving because everything has fees,
But sucking everything dry until it sways limply.
Nothing like what it was, is it?
You damn well better feel guilty, you caused this.
All your fault, all your fault. It’s due to your stupid shit.
You sealed my fate with a single kiss.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. How could you?
So easy, you didn’t even notice as you made life hell.
It was never true
And now that I’ve opened my eyes, I can tell.
I’ll lick my wounds from the rough, rough bark
And get used to the loss.
I’m no longer afraid of the dark,
I belong obscured by the moss.
We’re empty, empty--
Starving because everything has fees,
But sucking everything dry until it sways limply.
Nothing like what it was, is it?
You damn well better feel guilty, you caused this.
All your fault, all your fault. It’s due to your stupid shit.
You sealed my fate with a single kiss.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. How could you?
So easy, you didn’t even notice as you made life hell.
It was never true
And now that I’ve opened my eyes, I can tell.
I’ll lick my wounds from the rough, rough bark
And get used to the loss.
I’m no longer afraid of the dark,
I belong obscured by the moss.
Change. [Poem of Mine]
Something metamorphic is happening.
Change is, change is.
It’s tearing me apart as my heart beats, everything quickening.
My heart, it rages.
A tattered, bruised tart. My heart.
I’m cringing, splintering, and slipping
As my metamorphosis decides to start.
There’s something within me that is ripping.
My sanity is but a shred
Of what it used to be.
Now it’s all wearing thin and I’m afraid of what’s in my head.
Splinters and fragments, it’s changing me.
My eyes are burning as I go blind,
Hexed to bear the memories.
I’ve seen it all and now I’m loosing my mind
To all my past furies.
All the words fill my head, circling and shouting.
It’s deafening, the roar of every word
As my thought process begins rerouting.
My ears want to bleed as I hear the prettiest lie I ever heard
It’s all okay now. No, it never was and there’s a chance it will never be
But after this sudden change, nothing is the same.
Not what you think, smell, hear, feel, or see.
This is change and now you’re ready for phase two of the game.
I'm Fragile, I'm Human. [Poem of Mine]
Excuse me, I can only love you in phases.
Flipping through the pages,
I feel everything from then and there, here and now.
I’m conflicting and I’m trying to fix it but I don’t know how.
This broken heart doesn’t want to start
And I’m sorry but my mind’s a tart.
So don’t scream at me for taking my time,
I’m paying for someone else’s crime.
I’m a victim of the past and the martyr of my sanity,
A bitter product of humanity.
I want to set the world aflame
And cheat at this game
Called life.
Flipping through the pages,
I feel everything from then and there, here and now.
I’m conflicting and I’m trying to fix it but I don’t know how.
This broken heart doesn’t want to start
And I’m sorry but my mind’s a tart.
So don’t scream at me for taking my time,
I’m paying for someone else’s crime.
I’m a victim of the past and the martyr of my sanity,
A bitter product of humanity.
I want to set the world aflame
And cheat at this game
Called life.
The Black of Fall. [Poem of Mine]
Did you hear that noise?
The creeping of the leaves,
Ever so poise.
You're going to catch a cold, running about without any sleeves
On such a cold, lovely night
While the wind is bitter,
Killing the leaves to the delight
Of winter.
Walk away and I'll follow,
Tracking you by the sounds of the the crisp corpses beneath your feet as you walk amongst the trees.
You can't hide, I'm the voice inside your head, the one that loves to watch you wallow.
Honey, the prize of life is a funny thing, riddled with fees.
In the black of fall,
You'll be facing a wall
Waiting bitterly for things that won't come
And for this useless advice, you're ever so welcome.
In the black of fall,
You shall lose it all...
Not that you really had anything
But you will always have me, I'll never leave.
Isn't it lovely?
It will always be just you and me.
You're doomed, dear
And sadly, the end is nowhere near here.
Fairy Tale Prison. [Poem of Mine]
Flick your wings,
In the Hall of Kings.
Amusing them,
Like a sparkling gem.
Dance around and curtsey low,
Dressed up in tinsel and hair tied in a bow.
Smiling your pale white teeth,
Their razor sharp points in sheath.
Your pale skin with your dark hair,
Glistening and strands flowing with the wind and hanging in the air.
Pointed ears on display,
Doing it all without pay.
You go on into late in the eve,
Until they're pleased,
Having to play all the cards on your sleeve,
With freedom, you're taunted and teased.
When it's over, you're taken back to your cell,
A damp, freezing corner of Hell.
Awaiting the day…
To break away.
In the Hall of Kings.
Amusing them,
Like a sparkling gem.
Dance around and curtsey low,
Dressed up in tinsel and hair tied in a bow.
Smiling your pale white teeth,
Their razor sharp points in sheath.
Your pale skin with your dark hair,
Glistening and strands flowing with the wind and hanging in the air.
Pointed ears on display,
Doing it all without pay.
You go on into late in the eve,
Until they're pleased,
Having to play all the cards on your sleeve,
With freedom, you're taunted and teased.
When it's over, you're taken back to your cell,
A damp, freezing corner of Hell.
Awaiting the day…
To break away.
A Pretty Fine Mess. [Another One of My Poems.]
My feet are falling through
The charade I told myself was true.
I have a case
Of claustrophobia, there's just no space.
I'm trapped in a mound of glue
I can't find a way to get to you.
I painted a perfect picture and you ruined it by pouring down your ink
So now all the pretty colors are draining down and are beginning to sink.
All these things are beginning to seep
Through, the paint has started to weep.
What a mess, you and I.
We're wading through broken hopes and we don't know what was the truth and what was a lie.
Stop trying to be what you know you aren't
This is madness, not art.
You're just a con who had a lucky start
When you broke your first heart.
A punk who's consumed with their self
And all the trophies sitting on that shelf.
Life is chaos but
You're really living and I'd hate to be there when someone breaks your cocky strut.
In this all, we gain and lose everything
But you let go of nothing.
Just give up, give in
Because soon you're world will end, before it really had the chance to begin.
You had no idea what a mess this would be
I bet you would have acted a bit differently if you had opened your eyes to see.
Who I am now is the product of your mistake
I'm the person you really did break.
I guess I'm saying this to get through to you
But I know you and you’ll deny it all, knowing this is all true.
The charade I told myself was true.
I have a case
Of claustrophobia, there's just no space.
I'm trapped in a mound of glue
I can't find a way to get to you.
I painted a perfect picture and you ruined it by pouring down your ink
So now all the pretty colors are draining down and are beginning to sink.
All these things are beginning to seep
Through, the paint has started to weep.
What a mess, you and I.
We're wading through broken hopes and we don't know what was the truth and what was a lie.
Stop trying to be what you know you aren't
This is madness, not art.
You're just a con who had a lucky start
When you broke your first heart.
A punk who's consumed with their self
And all the trophies sitting on that shelf.
Life is chaos but
You're really living and I'd hate to be there when someone breaks your cocky strut.
In this all, we gain and lose everything
But you let go of nothing.
Just give up, give in
Because soon you're world will end, before it really had the chance to begin.
You had no idea what a mess this would be
I bet you would have acted a bit differently if you had opened your eyes to see.
Who I am now is the product of your mistake
I'm the person you really did break.
I guess I'm saying this to get through to you
But I know you and you’ll deny it all, knowing this is all true.
Far Away. [Poem of Mine.]
It's comfortable behind these walls,
Easier to ignore your messages and all your calls.
It's safer from your empty words and bitter lies,
Harder for you to see my puffy and sore eyes.
Stay away, go far...
Be my distant star,
What I look to at night
It'd be better then I could close my eyes on you when I didn't want you in my sight.
My world's falling away
And yours is talking to the sky.
I don't want to hear what they say
So I'm separating from my head and letting it float high.
I'm always falling apart
Since the very start,It keeps happening because you play keep away with my heart
...You fucking tart.
Easier to ignore your messages and all your calls.
It's safer from your empty words and bitter lies,
Harder for you to see my puffy and sore eyes.
Stay away, go far...
Be my distant star,
What I look to at night
It'd be better then I could close my eyes on you when I didn't want you in my sight.
My world's falling away
And yours is talking to the sky.
I don't want to hear what they say
So I'm separating from my head and letting it float high.
I'm always falling apart
Since the very start,It keeps happening because you play keep away with my heart
...You fucking tart.
Droplets of Life. [One of my Poems]
Dearest rain,
I could relate
And you’re so beautiful, as you drain,
Into another form or state.
You pour out everything,
Every once and a while.
You really are something,
You don’t live in denial.
I wish I was like you,
Filling the ocean, blue.
You are rebirth, something new…
Everything about you is true.
You give life while some of your storms take,
Though, nothing about you is a mistake.
You are life and you are power,
I wish I was as bold as you, yet I cower.
You are everywhere,
Both here and there.
Here I stay,
Waiting for our time to play.
You make me feel,
And you make me feel that something is actually real…
But you never stay,
You always leave, you go away.
I could relate
And you’re so beautiful, as you drain,
Into another form or state.
You pour out everything,
Every once and a while.
You really are something,
You don’t live in denial.
I wish I was like you,
Filling the ocean, blue.
You are rebirth, something new…
Everything about you is true.
You give life while some of your storms take,
Though, nothing about you is a mistake.
You are life and you are power,
I wish I was as bold as you, yet I cower.
You are everywhere,
Both here and there.
Here I stay,
Waiting for our time to play.
You make me feel,
And you make me feel that something is actually real…
But you never stay,
You always leave, you go away.
Bloody Little Photograph. [One of my Poems.]
This frame is broken and the picture inside it is shit.
It's wedged in, barely able to fit.
Some cutting was necessary,
The action became secondary.
Every slice hurt,
The pain gave it its worth.
No need to flatter,
This photo doesn't matter.
It was a gift I made for all of you,
You looked at it and had your fun but you put it at the bottom of the drawer when you were through.
I don't blame you a bit,
At first it was pretty but you got sick of it.
You'll never see a photo bleed.
Nor cry, nor plead.
So let it remain in the drawer collecting dust,
Because forgetting is a must.
It's wedged in, barely able to fit.
Some cutting was necessary,
The action became secondary.
Every slice hurt,
The pain gave it its worth.
No need to flatter,
This photo doesn't matter.
It was a gift I made for all of you,
You looked at it and had your fun but you put it at the bottom of the drawer when you were through.
I don't blame you a bit,
At first it was pretty but you got sick of it.
You'll never see a photo bleed.
Nor cry, nor plead.
So let it remain in the drawer collecting dust,
Because forgetting is a must.
Ruiner [Poem]
I can feel happiness slipping out of my finger tips,
I knew what you were planning to say before it escaped your lips.
No more tricks,
Each lie is another brick
You take,
Keep it up and the structure will break.
You steal my happiness every time I build it up,
Go away, I've had more than enough.
You've got the key to unlock the flood gate,
You love to fuck with fate.
Don't look at me, I'll shatter,
You tell me you care but I really don't matter.
The toy you don't want to lose,
But hit and bruise.
Don't touch me, your hands are filthy,
Your embrace is deathly.
You take a part of me with every touch,
Because of you I've lost so much.
So take it all or stay away,
Reason of my ruined day.
I'm done forgiving you,
Nothing you've said was true.
I knew what you were planning to say before it escaped your lips.
No more tricks,
Each lie is another brick
You take,
Keep it up and the structure will break.
You steal my happiness every time I build it up,
Go away, I've had more than enough.
You've got the key to unlock the flood gate,
You love to fuck with fate.
Don't look at me, I'll shatter,
You tell me you care but I really don't matter.
The toy you don't want to lose,
But hit and bruise.
Don't touch me, your hands are filthy,
Your embrace is deathly.
You take a part of me with every touch,
Because of you I've lost so much.
So take it all or stay away,
Reason of my ruined day.
I'm done forgiving you,
Nothing you've said was true.
The Snow Desert. [Poem of Mine.]
Walking in a wasteland,
Shivering cold and
Alone.
Feeling a pain I've never known.
Bitten in my heart
You could call it art,
A masterpiece all your own.
Damn it…I should have known.
The sky is dark like the feathers of a crow.
So I walk down the path covered in snow
Even though I feel like staying sedentary like stone.
I think I knew it, I think I had known.
I feel like the Ice Princess
In the Snow Desert, elevated above the rest.
It's freezing here
I mustn't shed a tear.
Soon my tracks will start to disappear
It's all over, I fear.
I can feel the wind blow…
They'll never know.
Shivering cold and
Alone.
Feeling a pain I've never known.
Bitten in my heart
You could call it art,
A masterpiece all your own.
Damn it…I should have known.
The sky is dark like the feathers of a crow.
So I walk down the path covered in snow
Even though I feel like staying sedentary like stone.
I think I knew it, I think I had known.
I feel like the Ice Princess
In the Snow Desert, elevated above the rest.
It's freezing here
I mustn't shed a tear.
Soon my tracks will start to disappear
It's all over, I fear.
I can feel the wind blow…
They'll never know.
Just Like Alice. [Poem of Mine.]
Through a skeleton key slot,
What do you see?
I bet a lot, a lot.
The rabbit's foot thumping on the floor,
Do you want to see more?
Then come through the door...
We're running very, very late!
Shake off your zombie-like state!
Don't mess with time and ruin fate!
You messed up and are falling for eternity, stuck here with me, frozen within time...
Tick...Tick...Tock...Hear the clock chime,
An endless rhyme...
Smiling wide like the cat,
As mad as the man in the hat,
The caterpillar grew plump and fat.
The water teams with creatures unseen,
Falling while you scream,
Wake up! It was only a dream...
Or is reality what it seems?
What do you see?
I bet a lot, a lot.
The rabbit's foot thumping on the floor,
Do you want to see more?
Then come through the door...
We're running very, very late!
Shake off your zombie-like state!
Don't mess with time and ruin fate!
You messed up and are falling for eternity, stuck here with me, frozen within time...
Tick...Tick...Tock...Hear the clock chime,
An endless rhyme...
Smiling wide like the cat,
As mad as the man in the hat,
The caterpillar grew plump and fat.
The water teams with creatures unseen,
Falling while you scream,
Wake up! It was only a dream...
Or is reality what it seems?
If...
If I were to start posting my poetry on here, would any of you share your opinions on it or critique it?
I need opinions to better my self, good or bad.
I need opinions to better my self, good or bad.
1.05.2011
1.03.2011
P.S. on the Wierdness.
I bought a whole bunch of beauty supplies, I'm thinking about messing with them.
Well...This is Weird.
I'm on a creative hang up of sorts.
I'm thinking in captions, being vain in a way, my eyes are camera lenses, and I aim to change.
I can't write right.
It's all too short and all too philosophical.
I keep cutting my hair and other things involving mutilating my body in the pursuit of beauty.
I say mutilate in a comedic sense.
I keep thinking about cool photograph themes.
One idea is the classic pin up type make up like this ^
But with blood dripping out the corners of my mouth. And other goth twists.
And I know what I'd wear in it too, my homecoming dress:
Dearly sorry for the amount of cleavage present.
Another idea is more cryptic...
My arm rested on the rim of the bath tub, "blood" dripping off my wrist.
I want express how I was.
Another idea is me or someone sitting against a brick wall, my/their mascara running with duct tape over my/their mouth that has red lips drawn on it, my/their arms bound with their legs out infront of them/me and hands in their lap. Eyes wide, scared.
A far away shot and a close up.
A "Party Girl" shot, with a girl dressed up, make up smeared and laying on the cement. Smiling while looking out of her mind.
Me dressed up as the classic paparazzi get-up, camera in hand, and fangs. Then, another person dressed as a celebrity and to clarify even better, celebrity "carved" in their forehead, a bite at their neck. And of course, they'd be really pale from blood loss, eyes rolled up, mouth open in a corpse's gasp.
I've really thought these out...they just pop into my head.
What do you guys think?
I'm thinking in captions, being vain in a way, my eyes are camera lenses, and I aim to change.
I can't write right.
It's all too short and all too philosophical.
I keep cutting my hair and other things involving mutilating my body in the pursuit of beauty.
I say mutilate in a comedic sense.
I keep thinking about cool photograph themes.
But with blood dripping out the corners of my mouth. And other goth twists.
And I know what I'd wear in it too, my homecoming dress:
Another idea is more cryptic...
My arm rested on the rim of the bath tub, "blood" dripping off my wrist.
I want express how I was.
Another idea is me or someone sitting against a brick wall, my/their mascara running with duct tape over my/their mouth that has red lips drawn on it, my/their arms bound with their legs out infront of them/me and hands in their lap. Eyes wide, scared.
A far away shot and a close up.
A "Party Girl" shot, with a girl dressed up, make up smeared and laying on the cement. Smiling while looking out of her mind.
Me dressed up as the classic paparazzi get-up, camera in hand, and fangs. Then, another person dressed as a celebrity and to clarify even better, celebrity "carved" in their forehead, a bite at their neck. And of course, they'd be really pale from blood loss, eyes rolled up, mouth open in a corpse's gasp.
I've really thought these out...they just pop into my head.
What do you guys think?
1.01.2011
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