Day 1 of Growing Up.

Yesterday, I decided I had had it.
I couldn't take it anymore.
So I basically told everyone to shove off. Only nicer than that.

I posted that note on facebook, I meant every word.

I learned something about myself,
I almost prefer to be alone.
I know why, too.
It's safer, less likely anyone will hurt me but myself.
I think I need to solve this shit myself.
I need to work on liking myself before I can fix anything, be anything.

I want to say something to someone...
Mia, you gave me some hope in people last night with that text.
You are such a good person and I appreciate it so much.
All I needed was that little hope to even keep going, you provided it.
Thank you so much, you brought tears to my eyes. But they were the good kind.
Love youuuu, no homo.

So writing will happen every day.

I stayed home today.
I went to bed early last night, about 10:30, yeah that's early for me and I got up at noon.
I am still tired, very tired.
And I know it's not being over-tired, I'm depressed.
I have been.
I can't sleep enough and my body hurts.
That's all due to depression.
I never feel well rested or "peppy".

In the past few hours of conciousness,
I've ate popcorn, yes...healthy haha.
I wrote that other post.
And that's pretty much it.
I'm thinking about either writing some more and listening to music or playing the Sims 2.

I just hope that I'm better by my birthday, which is in 29 days.
I want that tattoo. So bad.
I want to age.
I want to show everyone that I'm not giving up, that I'm stronger than they think I am.
I just want to show them, me.